Disgusting things

I've JUST put the kids down to nap and I'm supposed to be furiously busy working on my crazy long list of things to do, but I had to take this time to jot down what this day has had to offer so far.

This morning, I woke up... and kept dreaming. This doesn't happen very often. When it does, it's very confusing. When you finally come out of it, it takes a while to realize what your actual reality is. Turns out I'm NOT an Olympian runner. Who knew? I wondered why running for miles and miles was so easy.

Then after the usual morning shuffle of showers, "good morning"s and "Okay, I love you, bye-bye"s - I was tasked with getting the kids some breakfast. Got them seated at the table and went to the cabinet for some bowls at which time I discovered MAGGOTS everywhere. Y'all, maggots aren't a regular occurrence around here. As a matter of fact, the last time I had seen one was YEARS ago at our second apartment back before we ever even moved to the city. OH. MY. GRIEF. I still get nauseous thinking about it. The trash didn't get to the curb on trash day last week and here we are.

So after completely dousing my entire kitchen with bleach (and splashing myself in the face with some burning hot bleach water with maggots floating in it) I got the kids some cereal. And vowed never to eat again. Is it trash day yet?!

Noah and I are reading The Wind in the Willows. I'm excited that my 4-year-old son is interested in classic literature and also that he asks me several times a day if I will "take a break" and read to him. :) After a chapter of our book, Isla had decided it was time to get down from the high chair. I pick her up, put her on my hip and *squish.* Seriously?! Her first blowout diaper since she was 2 weeks old. (I wish her teeth would hurry up and come in! AGH!) I get her undressed and wiped down enough to get into the bath. She's standing on the side of the tub watching me adjust the water temperature aaaand she pees. All over the floor and me, since I'm standing right next to her. This is actually a record. I don't think I'd been pooped on AND peed on in succession like that... by this particular kid.

Get her in the bath and all cleaned up. While she's in the bath, Noah starts yelling for me. He's in the other bathroom and needs my help. The poor kid has chronic bathroom issues. After I got Isla out of the tub, I sat on the other bathroom floor and talked him down from the proverbial ledge and gave him some medicine. As I'm cleaning THIS up, Chris comes home for lunch... early... and provides me with a list of things he needs me to do. He's right. It's Friday. I don't want to need to get this stuff done.

I tell the kids to get in bed and Selah Jade tells me her bed is wet. It looks like a piece of cereal or something. I pick it up and it squishes in my hand. See, vomit just doesn't hold together when you try to pick it up.

And to think I pushed having my wisdom teeth extracted to next Friday. That sounds wonderful right about now.

not really a blog post

K, so I have this thing...

No, I'm not 14, but it needed some kind of introduction. (This is me stalling................)  (.............)

Every time I eat, I get sick. Not sure why or to what end, but any time I put something in my mouth, shortly after, my stomach is killing me. All this to say... I'm coming up with nothing here.

Oh and it never fails. I'm 3 sentences in and the baby monitor lights start going crazy. I turn the sound up and hear "ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba" and my suspisions are confirmed. There's a very alert baby in there.

I should clean something. Yep. Oh, and grocery shop. I'll get started right after I decide which one I want to do less. :)

WHERE IS MY PHONE?!

Taking a stab at it

I think I'm going to go in to screenplay writing. My first movie is going to be a horror film about a family with three kids ages 4 and under living out a day without baby wipes. I know. Scary stuff.

My second film will be a mothers journey to try and convince her baby to tell her where she hid her grocery money. We'll laugh, we'll cry... ultimately, we may end up killing ourselves. That's good cinema.

A Lifesong Update!

Lives Are Being Transformed!

“I remember the first time I saw Vanya because there was something different about him. Yes, he was the only black kid in the orphanage, but more than that, there was something about his eyes that intrigued me.

“Vanya is a smart kid.” Denis, our director, told us. “He was abandoned as a newborn. His parents were students at the university and he is very smart.”

I smiled at him and he smiled back. His outgoing personality was evident as he tried his hand at English. I met a lot of kids at that summer camp in 2004, but Vanya is the one I remember."

-Marla Ringger, Orphan Advocate

Vanya, then 13, was just learning the power of Christ’s love in his life. Recently Lifesong for Orphans had started a program at his home in Sachnovsheena Orphanage. And though Vanya resisted the Gospel at first, through the examples of volunteers and staff members, Biblical mentorship, and educational support he began to see Christ’s love in action, and knew this was something he wanted for himself.

Now at 19, Vanya continues to rise above standards and expectations. He lives in one of Lifesong’s Transition Homes in Kharkov, a home designed to support those aging out of the orphanage system, studies English at the local college, translates for Americans who come to visit, and mentors younger boys at the orphanage in the same way the Lifesong staff once mentored him!

We praise God for success stories like Vanya’s and are thankful for our partners who continue to support those like him both financially and in prayer!

 

Vanya from Lifesong for Orphans on Vimeo.

O_O THAT mom

About a month ago, I got to go to Old Navy and get some new clothes. All the shirts I had were either from highschool (Football champs of WHAT year?!) or they fit a body I didn't have anymore. I got some really cute stuff off of the clearance racks and pretty much got a whole new wardrobe. I was pumped. Keep that in mind. Pumped.

You know how sometimes you'll be out and you see someone -usually an older lady- who looks like she used some children's dress up make up to get ready that morning? Her BRIGHT blue eyeshadow is CAKED on in all the wrong places. Her BRIGHT pink blush is in perfect circles in the wrong spot on her cheeks.

You know the type.

Well, I was at Hobby Lobby with my 3 small children. We're a travelling circus just for that fact, but hang with me here...

As we're walking in, I notice an older lady. She's not elderly by any means, but older than me. She's probably in her 60s and she's taken care of herself. She looks at me with her perfectly styled white hair and we lock eyes just long enough to realize... we're wearing the same shirt. ::sigh:: While I wanted to get out of my high school and college t shirts, grandmother really wasn't the look I was going for.

I'm stewing about it while I'm getting the stuff I need - not that she had the shirt, but at the fact that I obviously don't know how to pick clothes for myself, but the rest of my family is dressed to the nines. We're int he store for maybe 30 minutes. In that brief time, we struck up conversations with about 6 different people. Some were accosted by my children wanting to show them every item on the shelves. Some were just in line to check out and commented on the baby.

I get out to the car - exhausted. Just being in a huge store with THOUSANDS of breakable things while kids are in tow drains me of all available energy stores. I'm trying to pull out of the parking lot and I happen to glance up in the mirror. THIS is the part where that make up scenario comes in to play. Yes. I was THAT lady. I looked like I had put my clown make up on in the dark. I'm HORRIFIED. I tried wiping it off in the car, but by that time we were on our way home! The damage was done! I'm not sure who I feel worse for - me or the kids who call me Mom.

Lifesong

The school situation in the town of Ziway, Ethiopia is very inadequate. Many children simply do not have the opportunity to attend school at any level or in any facility. The government schools are overcrowded with up to 75 students per classroom. Private schools tend to be somewhat better, but usually have 40-50 students per class. Whether private or public, the schools are lacking in even the basics. Students must share textbooks and cannot take their textbooks home. Even standard items such as chalk and pencils are in short supply and must be severely rationed.

The caregivers and children recognize the value of a good education. They know that education is critical to their obtaining good employment and providing for themselves and their families. Therefore, it is a priority to Lifesong for Orphans to construct a quality grade school as quickly as possible. One of the essential ways to pull Ethiopia out of its poverty is to educate its citizens.

 

We all go out of our ways to give our kiddos the very best we possibly can. In Ethiopia, this looks very different than it does for you and me in the US!

Lifesong for Orphans is supporting 3 schools in the Ziway, Ethiopia area. We are currently repairing one of the schools and are in the process of building another, but are hopeful to use all three this fall.

As you start gathering school supplies for your kids, would you consider helping the children in Ziway?

We are in need of new desks, lights, and fixtures!

 

Current supply shelves:

Current ‘desks’:

New desks needed:

Make a donation here and indicate ‘Ethiopia school needs’ in the description.

To stay up to date on the progress, check back here.

Maria

Today I saw a picture of the Chapman family. (minus the 3 grown children.) There was Steven Curtis and his lovely wife, Mary Beth. They were standing on some steps with their daughters Stevie Joy and ShoHannah. It was so strange to see them smiling and having a good time without Maria.

Now that my son is going on 5-years-old, the horror that their family went through hits even closer to home. Can you believe it's been 2 years?

I remember bawling my eyes out for their poor family. I still do when I think about it. But that's a testament to what God can do. You'd never know by looking at that photo that they've experienced unimaginable pain. God can heal. God can make new. God can pick you back up when you can't do it yourself.

Wow. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around every time.

My cup runneth over

I may have posted this before, but it's coming out one way or another and my posting it now is evidence that I still struggle with it.

I have a problem with empathy. I hear a story of someone's grief and I grieve with them. Not a 'Oh-how-sad-for-them' kind of sadness. This is a world rocking, debilitating emotion that sweeps over me for people who I often don't even know. (Think May from The Secret Life of Bees) On the other hand, when I hear good news - from any corner of the globe - it gives me strength to move on. I smile and I laugh and I cry tears of joy for situations I'll never have personal contact with. Is it a blessing or a curse? I don't know.

I have friends who hesitate to "burden" me with their heavy loads because I take it every bit as hard as they do. But truth is, some things are just too heavy to carry around by yourself. I appreciate the opportunity to mourn with people I care about so they know they aren't alone. I'm usually a first call with good news though! Which I'm equally grateful for.

There are people hurting out there. No, I don't like to dwell in sadness, but how can I go about my day without pausing and praying? Someone out there is in the worst pain they've ever felt in their life. Someone just lost a baby. Someone just found out their spouse has died. Some people are watching their families being slaughtered while their country is at war. I just think these people deserve a minute out of my day. Comfort them, Lord.

People are rejoicing! Someone's adoption was just finalized. Someone just got a positive pregnancy test after years of praying and struggling with infertility. Someone just heard their mothers cancer is in remission. These people deserve attention too! Hallelujah! Can you believe how good our God is?!

When it's my turn to grieve or rejoice, I hope I'll have someone - maybe it wont be anyone I've ever met - but I'll have someone who "suffers" from an over abundance of empathy. I hope someone will share those moments with me. What's a Happily Ever After if you have no one to share it with?

♫ Should I stay or should I go ♫

I'm pretty much terrified to go home over the weekend. Of course, we want to be there for the 4th and all the fun stuff, but people up there are falling apart. My Granny has broken her foot. My Mom called this morning and said her face was swollen up on one side and she was making an emergency trip to the dentist. My sister has recently resumed sending me texts that just say "I hate my life." So with all this going on, I'm going to bring my crazy family of 3 kids and a dog to stay with (and impose on) the grandmother with the bum leg. I don't want her to feel like she needs to do anything. We're not coming on vacation. We're just coming to see everyone.

I'm scared. O_o

Thursday - need I say more?

I'm at home. Finally. I just got the kids sat down with their lunches of pretzels, cheetoes and pineapple chunks I brought home from VBS. I'm wiped. This hard wood chair has never felt so comfortable. It's like muscle nirvana.
Today was crazy. We were late, but I wasn't going to stress about that. I figured it wasn't worth my sanity. So we get there and I'm dropping off Isla and Emily says "So did you bring me a bottle?" I'll pause here while you empathize with the immediate sinking of my already waning mood.

No. I didn't bring a bottle. Or any formula for that matter. I dropped off Selah Jade at her class and then begged my Mom-in-law to hold her pager and be in charge while I ran home with Noah in tow to get the bottle and formula sections that I had left on the kitchen counter.

I get back to the church and drop Noah at his class (that had been in the sanctuary when we left - so I couldn't drop him off) and they were just finishing up their craft - his favorite part. I gave him a laffy taffy from the adult snacks kitchen as a peace offering. All it did was make a big pink stain down the front of his new white shirt from not being able to fit the WHOLE THING in his mouth at one time. C'est la vie.

When I got to Selah Jade's classroom to pick her up and they started apologizing, my heart sank. There she was, cuddled up in a rocking chair snoozing away and had been for the past hour. Awesome.

I tried to get Noah to go to the bathroom. He protested and assured me he didn't need to go. As we're pulling out of the church parking lot, I hear "Mom, I have to go to the bathroom." Which was, of course, met with a barrage of "Too bad." "I told you to go in there." "Don't you dare pee in your pants." "NOT IN THE CAR." "Wait til we get home!" Etc.

By the way, Isla's skin is still falling off from her yeast rash. Is it 6 o' clock yet?

Gnarly

It stinks in here. What in the world is going on?! Is that the dog? The trash can? One of the children?! Surely not.

There is a smell in here that would wake the dead. Chris said he could smell it over the weekend, but I couldn't. I guess it's because I live here. I just get used to these things I thought, but nooo. This is something awful. I'm beginning to think something has died. Seriously. A mouse? A squirrel? Oh how I hate rodents. We've never had a problem with them before. I've cleaned. I've mopped. Something strange is afoot at the Mendez home.  (You young 'uns wont get the reference)

How does one go about finding the source of said odor? I have no idea. I almost don't want to find it... for fear of what I'll find. Ew. When is Chris going to be home again?

::stalling::

I hate doing dishes y'all. Hate it with a passion. Sitting here writing about hating dishes is my last ditch effort to avoid doing them. They're sitting there in the sink staring at me and if we plan on eating dinner, they're going to have to be done. I got rid of most of my dishes (I had 3 or 4 sets) so I wouldn't be able to put it off. If I had the option, I'd let them sit until ALL 4 SETS of dishes were spent and then we'd probably have to call in a professional.

I only kept my favorite dishes and got rid of the rest. Now when I procrastinate, it's not the END of the world... just... well... I still hate it.

Anyway, all this to say, I need some new dishes. When you get rid of all your dishes you don't absolutely need... and you have small children who signal they're done with their oatmeal by throwing their bowl on the floor and saying "Uh oh!" as the thing shatters into hundreds of pieces, you end up with a dish shortage and a need to buy dishes. Oh, the irony.

Any chance it's cheaper to just use paper plates? I didn't think so.

Golden tomato

How much have you ever paid for a tomato? I'm not talking about Wal-Mart rollback tomatoes. I'm talking about Farmers Market tomatoes where they're straight off the vine and perfectly ripe. You're thinking *I'd give a pretty penny for a tomato like that* aren't ya?

Well, I can beat that. I gave more than 4000 pennies for A TOMATO. And I even had to put the blood, sweat and tears into growing it because it came out of MY garden!

Why a $40 tomato, Rylee? Why?

Because that's what all the plants, planters, potting soil, plant feeder, etc cost me to grow this tomato. Because my tomato plants seem to have given their 2 week notice and this is the only fruit I've been able to harvest. Because some species of worm has moved in to one of my plants and taken up residence. And if I don't get any more fruit off of these plants, I will have put 2 months of my life and more than $40 into THIS tomato. Lord help me.

Stranger Danger

Lately I've been trying to talk to Noah about what to do if he were to get separated from me in a public place. This subject is delicate and it's harder than I thought it would be. How do you explain to an innocent little boy that there are evil, horrible people in the world who would hurt him and take him from his family without thinking a second thought about it? How do you equip him for a scenario where he finds himself alone in a crowd? How do you explain the gravity of the consequences of the wrong choices in these situations without scaring the kid for life?

I made up a song that has his full name and his address in it. We sang it over and over and over and over and over until he had it down. Now when I ask him, "Who are you?" he sings the song. Next up will be the task of having him memorize my phone number. I've made sure he knows my name. I remember being a very little kid lost in an airport. I knew all the right things to do. I went up to a desk and told the employee that I was lost. She asked me who I was there with. I told her I was with my Grandad. She asked what his name was so she could page him over the loud speaker. I told her again, matter-of-factly "His name is Grandad." They ended up paging "Grandad" over the airport intercom and he came running. Paging "Mom" would probably prove to be more difficult. There weren't as many bad people in the world back then either.

I've been kidnapped. Thank goodness they didn't get very far - my Mama was hot on their trail. As a young teen, I had a strange man in wal-mart try to get me to come with him. These things happen and I just want them to be prepared.

So how do you address this topic? I mean the obvious "Hang on to your kids in the store!" thing is great, but the reality is, there are bad people out there; sneeky, bad people and I don't want my kid's face on a milk carton. What do you think?

Don't throw that away! It's soft!

A hoarder. Something I never thought I would be, but turns out, I am. Not for the things you'd expect either. I've gotten rid of all my old yearbooks. I don't have any team or class shirts. I didn't hold on to any old school papers or childhood trinkets. I've only kept 2 toys from my childhood with the intent of passing them down to my own children. (One was my very favorite polly pocket and the other is a GI Joe still in the box that I believe may hold some value.)

BUT

Seems I have trouble getting rid of other things; soft things and things that bring me comfort. Pajamas, pillows, blankets and jackets are among the worst offenders. WHY do I feel the need to hang on to that 100-year-old t-shirt that's 5 sizes too big, is older than I am and comes out of the wash each time with a new hole I could stick my arm through?!

It's comfortable.

As a Mom, this has become priority one. Why yes, I am cuddling up with this blanket in June. Don't look at me like that! IT'S SOFT, DAD-GUM-IT!

There was a reason that the Mama bear had the cushiest chair and bed. Motherhood demands cush. Speaking of cush, I'm feeling a little fluffy. June 1st has become day numero uno of operation lose-all-this-weight-I've-yet-to-lose-after-having-3-kids. I'll let you know how it goes. OORAH!

Grrr

Chris- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!"

Me- "What!?"

Chris- "Can't a man growl?!"

Why, hello there.

I'm not sure how I am ending up with time to post a blog with 3 kids. It's 10:38 and we have just now won the bed time battle with a certain two-year-old who shall remain nameless.

I'm pretty sure our laundry is procreating. I leave it in a pile and when I come back to fold it, it's twice as high as it was when I left it there. For now, our laundry and dishes are mostly caught up - and all at the same time! Alert the media! Haley's comet comes by more often.

I've been really consumed with the adoption lately. I can't seem to think about anything else. I know it will be a while before we can raise funds and get paperwork completed. I just can't help it. I feel like a piece of my heart is somewhere half way around the world. Pray for me, would ya? I've got it bad y'all. I spend my time pouring over adoption blogs and looking up statistics. Chris thinks I'm torturing myself. Maybe I am. I just can't remember the last time I was really on fire about something like this.

VBS is coming up! I'm pumped! It's going to be great and the kids are going to have a great time. Memorial day weekend coming up! Do you have any plans?

Planning to adopt

Somewhere in the Republic of Kazakhstan...

 there is a child...

and this child doesn't have a home or a family...

but I do...

and why would I allow a child to stay over there alone...

when they could be here with us?

We're planning to bring them home.

Damage done

Sick. That's how I feel right now.

There was a 7-year-old Russian boy adopted by a Tennessee woman who kept him for 6 months and then RETURNED him. She says he had psych issues. You think?! The kid has grown up in an orphanage on the other side of the world all alone!

The story says that she's a single woman who just "so desperately wanted a family" that she adopted an older child from a foreign country. I guess she expected him to be one of the Brady bunch kids and show up perfectly rounded and well adjusted. International adoption can cost upwards of $30,000 and MONTHS of paperwork and red tape. People wait YEARS to adopt and get through it all. You would think someone who is willing to put all this in would do SOME research. This is pretty much the most publicized thing out there when it comes to the adoption of older children. THEY HAVE ISSUES!

The problem here is that people make a distinction between a biological child and an adopted child. There is none. When you adopt a child, they are absolutely as much a part of your family as those children you gave birth to. I want to know why people aren't COMPLETELY outraged like they would be had she sent a 7-year-old biological child around the world with a one-way ticket. I want to know why she isn't rotting in jail. She's done SO much damage. Not only to that poor boy but to THOUSANDS of families trying to adopt internationally.

Now, I realize that this is a sensitive issue for myself and I may be flying off the handle. Someone needs to fly off the handle for this poor boy! God calls Christians to care for the orphans. I know that I am particularly called to do so. I cannot WAIT until I can adopt, but all in God's perfect timing. Until then all I can do is raise awareness for good Christian people to take in these kids and give them a home and a family. DO IT!

Easter

Easter is always a holiday I look forward to. Not only is it a time when we all get to dress up and color eggs, it's a time to talk to my kids about the awesome gift that God gave in his son, Jesus Christ. What's even better is that my 4-year-old initiated this conversation:

Noah - "Mom, those bad people stuck Jesus on a big heavy cross."
Me - "They sure did, Honey."
Noah - "And they put NAILS in his hands and in his feet!"
Me - "Yes, they did."
Noah- "They killed him, didn't they, Mom?"
Me - "Yes they did."
Noah - "Mom?"
Me - "Yes?"
Noah - "Are you crying?"
Me - "It just makes me sad that they did that to my Jesus because I love him so much."
Noah - ::gets excited:: "It's okay, Mom! Jesus came back to life! He didn't stay dead! He's alive!"

I don't know if I've ever smiled that big in my life and I know I've never been more proud.

My favorite things

Raincoats on children all bundled with mittens

When the rain settles and clears the allergens

Cadbury eggs and the joy that they bring

These are a few of my favorite things

Chris and his cronies and Selah Jade's doodles

Toddlers covered head to toe with egg noodles

The first tree blossoms that come with the Spring

These are a few of my favorite things

Watching the kids race around and their clashes

Kissing their booboos when one of them crashes

Looking at diamonds and trying on rings

These are a few of my favorite things

When the bugs bite

When siblings fight

When we crash and burn

We simply get told to go walk it off and then we wait for our turn.

Note to self:

Do not pick up The Diary of Anne Frank when you're having a bad day and trying to escape it through a good book. This would seem obvious, but apparently I hadn't made the connection until I was in a fetal position on the couch accompanied by a frozen margarita.

Don't tell Chris anything and expect him to remember it unless it's in writing. Email is your friend.

Quit letting the kids snack. While you're at it, you stay out of the fridge too. You wonder why there are so many dishes in the sink.

Try not to cringe when you hear "I poopooed, Mom!" from the bathroom. They could be trying to wipe themselves. Remember how that went last time?! Yes. You'd rather do it any day.

I really can't believe it.

I'm removing the content of this post so I don't hurt anyone else unintentionally. It was written in anger and wasn't meant to fan any flames.

Loves.

Happy Birthday, Noah

Today is my firstborn's 4th birthday which makes this my 4th anniversary of motherhood. These 4 years have been the best years of my life. He's so wonderful and precious - I can't imagine my life without him in it. 

This was my beautiful, 8 pound, 20-inch-long baby boy 4 years ago today.

This was my baby boy on his first birthday.

This was my not-so-baby boy on his second birthday.

My little boy on his third birthday.

And here's my boy today before he went to bed. He's not a little boy anymore. He's a real honest-to-goodness kid. A kid that's starting school this fall.

I love him SO much.

St Patty's Day

It's that time of year again. Everyone's wearing green. People are being assaulted by pinching strangers for not wearing green and they "deserved it" for not giving respect to the holiday. Ahhhh. Can you just smell the freshly mowed clover?

I'm thinking maaaaaaybe 1% of Americans know the origin of St. Patrick's Day. Maybe not that many. You better believe the whole nation celebrates though! We Americans don't pass up an opportunity to drink beer. Wait... we (as a culture) do that every day! No... this is different! It's GREEN beer!

Beer is disgusting, just for the record.

At least this holiday is in honor of something worth celebrating! It's about a man named Maewyn Succat (his name later changed to Patrick - a more Christian name) and how he brought Christianity to Ireland. It's a good story. Maybe you could look it up while you're sitting there with your Guinness?

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

It's not a shameless display of clutter - It's a "garage sale."

Garage sale this weekend! At least, that's the plan. The weather may have other ideas. It's supposed to be 70 degrees on Friday and then snow on Saturday. Really??? Come on, Oklahoma. Work with me here.

I'm more worried about Noah's birthday party that's supposed to happen on Sunday. It's going to be outdoors. Start praying now that we can survive the weather long enough to ring in his 4th birthday with about a million of our closest friends and family. Lord help us.

I'm pumped! Chris is taking off Thursday and Friday to spend some time with us for Noah's birthday. There will be much rejoicing come about 5pm on Wednesday. :) That's tomorrow... in case you didn't know. ::ohmygoodness::

That means I need to get a lot done TODAY. What do I need to get done? I need to do some laundry, hang up the clothes that have been patiently waiting their turn on my to-do list for weeks, and get the clutter out of the living room. The garage could use some organizing since we kind of need to get around in there for this weekend and I'll be darned is Isla doesn't grow out of clothes before I can even hang them up in her closet.

Dishes are under control and the floor could use a quick sweep... for the 6,854th time this week. Yep. I have a lot to do. I think I'll let Chris worry about how the front of the house looks. I need to make garage sale signs. I want the entirety of Edmond to come rummage through my belongings... and give me their quarters. Muahahaha!!

I'm pretty sure a garage sale is the only occasion that it's okay to show off how much junk you own. Anyway, I'm going to seize the opportunity!

Oh my goodness, I have a 4-year-old!

Dirty playgrounds

Yesterday was absolutely BEAUTIFUL! It was warm and sunny for the first time in what seems like ages. I gathered some courage and walked to the park with all 3 kids. It's about 2 blocks from our house and we usually have the place to ourselves. We're there all of about 20 minutes when a tan colored truck pulls into the little mini-parking lot. I'm thinking, "Okay, we'll have some company. Hopefully they aren't big kids who are going to run mine over as they share the equipment." I see some rustling around in the cab. I figure the mom is reaching over the seat to unbuckle the car seat behind her. I was horribly, horribly wrong.

I call Chris. "Sex in a public park is illegal, right?!" He was a little more than irritated.

Not only are they out in public, they're within eye shot of my LITTLE CHILDREN! I'm pretty sure they were a couple of high school kids on their lunch break from school. Who knew a walk to the park could turn into something so dirty? O_o

A letter to myself... from the future.

Lately I've been in a funk. I've been overwhelmed and exhausted. I find it hard to get ANYTHING done even while I'm home all day. Make that especially while I'm home all day. I kept hearing from older parents who had been where I am telling me these are the best years and to savor every moment while it lasts. Well, that's great, but it's difficult to savor anything when I'm cleaning up a mess in the bathroom because someone missed or while I'm picking oatmeal out of someone's hair for the umpteenth time that day. So, since hindsight is 20/20 and I really would like to take advantage of their wisdom, I've decided to try to take myself out of the situation and write myself a letter... from the future. Stick with me here. No one knows how precious these children are better than I do, after all... right?! Here goes.

Dear "pre-school Mommy of 2010" Me,

I know you feel like the walls are closing in and the children have cloth ears. I'm standing on the other side with an empty nest and I want to let you know that they all turn out alright. You will never regret staying at home with your babies. Don't lose sight of why you're staying home though. You aren't making these sacrifices so the tile can shine every day. You're home, mainly, to be a mother to your kids and to raise them yourself. So... get off the computer and go play a game with your son who's been begging all morning. Go read a book to Selah Jade even though you've already read it so many times she has the whole thing memorized and can "read" it with you. Go hold that baby that's growing by the minute. She wont be little for very long. Go.

Very sincerely,
40-something-year-old Me

Sickness?

Welcome to Motherhood - where we measure coffee in pots, not cups.

I have a sick child, a well child, and one that can't decide. My poor sick baby has been sleepwalking. The poor girl is traumatized when she wakes up from running into a door jamb or - as was the case last night - her brother's bed. It sounded like she had been running at it at full speed when it stopped her dead in her tracks at 12:30 am. I can only imagine waking up to someone's bed smacking you in the face out of nowhere. How confusing would that be?!

Anyway, she's in there lying on the couch watching her new Dora DVD that she got as a valentine (Thanks, Granny!) with pillow pet in tow.

Isla is the one I'm wondering about. Maybe she's sick. Maybe she's growing. She went to bed about 7:30pm last night and is still asleep at 11am today having woken up only once to eat. I can't keep the kid awake and I don't like it. I'm having day-mares of her schedule being all thrown off and her keeping me up all night for the next month. We'll see. She got shots on Wednesday so we're showing a bit of leniency. 

This would be just another day in the life of having 3 children ages 3 and under IF I were not sick and feeling like my head was about to roll off and land somewhere under the dining room table. (You'd have to know the layout of my house to appreciate that last sentence, I guess.)

Chris has been very gracious and playing Mr. Mom this weekend. He even made muffins this morning for the kids. Sure, they're a little brown, but they're good and I didn't have to cook! LOVE YOU, HONEY! He's coming right off a cold himself. He was miserable all last week and now he's having to take care of me with no break in between. He drank like 5 pots of coffee yesterday (no lie) and caught up on the laundry that's been pushed to the wayside lately. Yep. I've decided we have entirely too many clothes and could clothe an orphanage. Garage sale anyone? I think so.

Treble Tones

Today I came across a shirt from high school. It was my Treble Tones shirt from my junior year. I really had a hard time deciding if the feelings I had attached to it were positive or negative. Either way, they were strong feelings.

I set it aside and when ALL the other laundry was done, I had to deal with it. I wanted to keep it because it reminded me of possibly the ONLY good times I had while in school. On the other hand, it also reminded me of the worst times too. The times so bad that I actually transferred schools. Sooo do I get rid of it or keep it? What is my first reaction when I see it? Do I smile or wince?

It's just a shirt! A shirt from 6 years ago! What is my problem?!

I finally convinced myself that it was okay to let go of. I usually don't have this problem. I've already thrown away all my old yearbooks! It's not like me to cling to something like this. Weeeeeeeird.

I asked Selah Jade to go throw it in the trash for me. (Couldn't do it myself?!) and this is what happened.

 

It didn't quite make it. She wore it for the rest of the evening and right now she's in there tucked snugly into her toddler bed with my shirt wrapped around her. I finally got it. I was proud to be in Treble Tones back in high school. I didn't want to let go of that "accomplishment." I have so much more now. Look at that beautiful girl wrapped in that silly shirt. I've been blessed beyond measure and this picture really brought it all in to perspective.

Thank you, Lord for my family- my beautiful children. They are my greatest accomplishment.

Happy LOVE Day!

Valentine's Day 2010! Woohoo! Hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day and gets to spend time with the people they love. :)

Anyone know a good...

Anyone have a good (legit) way to work from home? I need to make some $$$ while staying here with the kiddos. Seriously. Ideas. I need them.

On another note, it's getting closer to Noah's birthday! I can't believe he's going to be 4 and starting school this fall.

I suddenly feel very old.

To Whom It May Concern:

When did it become so awful to have children? I've heard just about everything from questions about my sanity to accusations that it's ALL my fault the planet is over populated. Breaking news! Chris and I are old enough to have these children and we're perfectly capable of providing for them without any state help.

I know you think you're an awesome judge of how old I am, but I assure you, I'm not 14. I'm old enough to have a masters degree. I don't want to hear about how much I'll appreciate looking younger later in life after you just scolded me about how "I should have finished high school" before I "had a gaggle of kids." Believe it or not, we PLANNED these children. I know. You're shocked. Hold on to something, I'm about to REALLY rock your world... WE AREN'T DONE! That's right. We want one more.

I'm not going to let you make snide comments about my well behaved children in the stores. I'm not going to smile and avoid the conversation when you assume I just don't know how babies are made. My oldest is very sensitive and I'll be darned if I'm going to let your ignorance hurt his feelings while I stand by quietly to avoid confrontation.

Yes. I have my hands full, but they're happy hands. Yes. I get tired, but it's all worth it.

Death and Taxes

I called the church where I worked for a portion of last year to check on my W2 since I hadn't received it. I start in with my "I worked and I haven't received it" speech and the lady on the phone stops me and says "The lady who prepares those has brain cancer and is dying. We're trying to get them out asap but we have a lot to take over and take care of." ........................oh my gosh.

So now I'm sorry I ever even called. They're probably getting a ton of calls... or maybe not. Maybe the people who have worked there within the past several months knew about all this. I don't know. I just feel awful for her, her family and her coworkers.

Taxes will wait.

Some back dated stuff - mostly from the kids - back through November

2/3/10
::after I told Noah to pick his hot wheels cars up out of the livingroom floor::
Noah- "MOM! Selah's picking up my cars!"
Me- "Selah Jade! How dare you help your brother clean! Stop it this instant!"
Noah- "...wait."

2/2/10
::Selah Jade poots::
Me- "What are you supposed to say?!"
SJ- " Excuse you!"
Me- "It's excuse ME!"
SJ- "You're excused."

1/29/10
Noah- "And on this farm he had a PT Cruiser. E-I-E-I-O With a honk-honk here and a honk-honk there..."

1/29/10
Me- "What do you want to do for your birthday this year?"
Noah- "Oh I'll just take a small truck and a ride on a helicopter that shoots missiles."

1/25/10
Me- "Put your clothes on."
::Noah keeps playing::
Me- "Put your clothes on."
::Noah stands up and stares at me::
Me- "Don't just stand there, man. Put your clothes on!"
Noah- "Oh. My bad."

1/23/10
A family member in Tulsa- "Where do you live?"
Noah (as he's watching Dora)- "Edmond."
AFM- "Where does Dora live? Does she live in Mexico?"
Noah- "Ummm... nooooo. She doesn't live anywhere. She's just on TV."

1/20/10
Noah- "Can I have a pecan, please?"
Chris- "MAY I have a pecan, please."
Noah- "May can I have a pecan, please?"
Chris- "May I have a pecan, please."
Noah- "MAY can I have a pecan, please?"

Repeat those last 4 lines about 100 times. 

1/6/10
Me- "I don't have a bowl I can cook oatmeal in tomorrow morning. I hate washing dishes first thing in the morning."
Chris- "You hve bowls in here." ::opens dish washer::
Me- "You didn't run those."
Chris- "I didn't? Well they're rinsed. You don't have to wash them - just sanitize them."
Me- "Oh... So what you're saying is... I just have to put soap on them and scrub them to sanitize them. I don't have to wash them. Good to know." 

12/22/09
Noah- "Lets watch Pizza Diaper."
Me- "What?!?"
Noah- "The movie with the words. You know... Pizza Diaper."
Me- "Pizza diaper?!? You mean 'Meet the Sight Words'?!?"
Noah- "No. I'm pretty sure it's pizza diaper."

12/21/09
Me- "Do you need to sit in time out?"
Selah Jade- "yes."
Me- "You WANT to be in trouble?"
SJ- "yes."
Me- "Are you just saying yes to everything I ask you?"
SJ- "noooooooooo!"

12/6/09
::Noah went into my room and found Selah Jade's new play kitchen with the fedex tag still attached::
Noah- "We got a new kitchen!"
Me- "SHHHH! The kitchen is Selah's for Christmas and you can't tell her or talk about it."
Noah- "Selah Jade! ...the kitch..."
Me- "Do you want me to take it back to the store?!"
Noah- "But Mom... The mail man brought it."

11/24/09
"Well aren't you just the pot calling the kettle African American?!" - Chris

11/19/09
::We're singing Christmas songs because I've had them playing through the house all day so Noah comes into the kitchen singing his heart out:: "And a partridge in the pantry!....."

11/15/09
::after I threw the soccer ball he was playing with into another room::
Chris- "Meano."
Me- "You were kicking the ball at me!"
Chris- "It didn't even hit you!"
Me- "YES IT DID!"
Chris- "Not in the face!"

11/12/09
Noah- "You look pretty!"
Me- "Thank you!"
Noah- ::gives me a funny look:: "I was talking to Selah."

11/9/09
Chris and I were talking in the living room and Jack, our Australian shepherd, was making a bunch of noise in his kennel.
Chris- "Dog! I'll stick you outside, I swear."
Me- "He can't understand you. Maybe try talking with an Australian accent?"
Chris- ::with an accent:: "Shut up or I'll kick you in the didgeridoo and thr...ow you on the barbie! You got that, mate?"
Jack- ::silence::

11/8/09
Me- "What did you learn at church today?" Noah- "We don't say 'Poop Face' to Daddy. We say 'Yes Sir.'"

11/5/09
Noah was doing something and I told him to stop. This irritated him and he got a really nasty look on his face. Me- "I don't like that face. Stop being so destructive." Noah- (in a really nasty tone of voice, I might add) "Well I LIKE your face!"

11/5/09
::a conversation between Noah and I a we drove past a water park::
N- "Mom, we can't swim because it's getting cold, right?"
Me- "That's right. The pool is closed. You can swim again next year when it's warm."
N- "How old will I be when the cold goes away?"
Me- "You'll be 4. I'll teach you how to swim. Would you like that?"
N- "Yes Ma'am!"
Me- "When you learn to swim, you don't have to wear your floaties."
N- ::horrified look:: "But Mom, if I take off my floaties, I'll DIE!"
Me- "Not if you know how to swim."
N- "No. I'll die." 

Fish

The definition of a phobia is a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it. I'm plagued with Ichthyophobia. (phobia of fish)

I'm not thinking this is so irrational. See, I'm from Oklahoma. You don't need to go to the coast to find some fish that could have swallowed Jonah in one, maybe two bites; although I doubt he would have lived through it. You can find those kinds of monsters right here in this land locked state in the same lakes and rivers that countless people swim in every summer.

When I was a kid, I caught a gar on my mickey mouse fishing pole. Exibit A...

The one I caught wasn't this big, but a mouth full of teeth is scary even if its only 2 feet long. This picture is an 8'2" and 244.5lb Alligator Gar caught in the Sam Rayburn Reservoir in Texas. The biggest catch on record for Oklahoma is 184 pounds.

Exibit B...

 

Catfish Noodling is a "sport" where morons stick their hands down inside a catfish nest and try to get the biggest fish they can find to BITE THEIR HANDS. Then they pull the fish up while it's trying to eat them. I'll pause here while you question their sanity... 

 

What I hear most often is that they don't come up to the surface. It's really deep. They're way down on the bottom. If they're down so deep, how are these people (without scuba gear) pulling them out with their hands?! The gar in the first picture was shot with arrows while the fish was on THE SURFACE of the water.

Irrational fear? I think not. I will NEVER swim in a lake. Ever.

Ever.