Some back dated stuff - mostly from the kids - back through November

2/3/10
::after I told Noah to pick his hot wheels cars up out of the livingroom floor::
Noah- "MOM! Selah's picking up my cars!"
Me- "Selah Jade! How dare you help your brother clean! Stop it this instant!"
Noah- "...wait."

2/2/10
::Selah Jade poots::
Me- "What are you supposed to say?!"
SJ- " Excuse you!"
Me- "It's excuse ME!"
SJ- "You're excused."

1/29/10
Noah- "And on this farm he had a PT Cruiser. E-I-E-I-O With a honk-honk here and a honk-honk there..."

1/29/10
Me- "What do you want to do for your birthday this year?"
Noah- "Oh I'll just take a small truck and a ride on a helicopter that shoots missiles."

1/25/10
Me- "Put your clothes on."
::Noah keeps playing::
Me- "Put your clothes on."
::Noah stands up and stares at me::
Me- "Don't just stand there, man. Put your clothes on!"
Noah- "Oh. My bad."

1/23/10
A family member in Tulsa- "Where do you live?"
Noah (as he's watching Dora)- "Edmond."
AFM- "Where does Dora live? Does she live in Mexico?"
Noah- "Ummm... nooooo. She doesn't live anywhere. She's just on TV."

1/20/10
Noah- "Can I have a pecan, please?"
Chris- "MAY I have a pecan, please."
Noah- "May can I have a pecan, please?"
Chris- "May I have a pecan, please."
Noah- "MAY can I have a pecan, please?"

Repeat those last 4 lines about 100 times. 

1/6/10
Me- "I don't have a bowl I can cook oatmeal in tomorrow morning. I hate washing dishes first thing in the morning."
Chris- "You hve bowls in here." ::opens dish washer::
Me- "You didn't run those."
Chris- "I didn't? Well they're rinsed. You don't have to wash them - just sanitize them."
Me- "Oh... So what you're saying is... I just have to put soap on them and scrub them to sanitize them. I don't have to wash them. Good to know." 

12/22/09
Noah- "Lets watch Pizza Diaper."
Me- "What?!?"
Noah- "The movie with the words. You know... Pizza Diaper."
Me- "Pizza diaper?!? You mean 'Meet the Sight Words'?!?"
Noah- "No. I'm pretty sure it's pizza diaper."

12/21/09
Me- "Do you need to sit in time out?"
Selah Jade- "yes."
Me- "You WANT to be in trouble?"
SJ- "yes."
Me- "Are you just saying yes to everything I ask you?"
SJ- "noooooooooo!"

12/6/09
::Noah went into my room and found Selah Jade's new play kitchen with the fedex tag still attached::
Noah- "We got a new kitchen!"
Me- "SHHHH! The kitchen is Selah's for Christmas and you can't tell her or talk about it."
Noah- "Selah Jade! ...the kitch..."
Me- "Do you want me to take it back to the store?!"
Noah- "But Mom... The mail man brought it."

11/24/09
"Well aren't you just the pot calling the kettle African American?!" - Chris

11/19/09
::We're singing Christmas songs because I've had them playing through the house all day so Noah comes into the kitchen singing his heart out:: "And a partridge in the pantry!....."

11/15/09
::after I threw the soccer ball he was playing with into another room::
Chris- "Meano."
Me- "You were kicking the ball at me!"
Chris- "It didn't even hit you!"
Me- "YES IT DID!"
Chris- "Not in the face!"

11/12/09
Noah- "You look pretty!"
Me- "Thank you!"
Noah- ::gives me a funny look:: "I was talking to Selah."

11/9/09
Chris and I were talking in the living room and Jack, our Australian shepherd, was making a bunch of noise in his kennel.
Chris- "Dog! I'll stick you outside, I swear."
Me- "He can't understand you. Maybe try talking with an Australian accent?"
Chris- ::with an accent:: "Shut up or I'll kick you in the didgeridoo and thr...ow you on the barbie! You got that, mate?"
Jack- ::silence::

11/8/09
Me- "What did you learn at church today?" Noah- "We don't say 'Poop Face' to Daddy. We say 'Yes Sir.'"

11/5/09
Noah was doing something and I told him to stop. This irritated him and he got a really nasty look on his face. Me- "I don't like that face. Stop being so destructive." Noah- (in a really nasty tone of voice, I might add) "Well I LIKE your face!"

11/5/09
::a conversation between Noah and I a we drove past a water park::
N- "Mom, we can't swim because it's getting cold, right?"
Me- "That's right. The pool is closed. You can swim again next year when it's warm."
N- "How old will I be when the cold goes away?"
Me- "You'll be 4. I'll teach you how to swim. Would you like that?"
N- "Yes Ma'am!"
Me- "When you learn to swim, you don't have to wear your floaties."
N- ::horrified look:: "But Mom, if I take off my floaties, I'll DIE!"
Me- "Not if you know how to swim."
N- "No. I'll die."