A letter to myself... from the future.

Lately I've been in a funk. I've been overwhelmed and exhausted. I find it hard to get ANYTHING done even while I'm home all day. Make that especially while I'm home all day. I kept hearing from older parents who had been where I am telling me these are the best years and to savor every moment while it lasts. Well, that's great, but it's difficult to savor anything when I'm cleaning up a mess in the bathroom because someone missed or while I'm picking oatmeal out of someone's hair for the umpteenth time that day. So, since hindsight is 20/20 and I really would like to take advantage of their wisdom, I've decided to try to take myself out of the situation and write myself a letter... from the future. Stick with me here. No one knows how precious these children are better than I do, after all... right?! Here goes.

Dear "pre-school Mommy of 2010" Me,

I know you feel like the walls are closing in and the children have cloth ears. I'm standing on the other side with an empty nest and I want to let you know that they all turn out alright. You will never regret staying at home with your babies. Don't lose sight of why you're staying home though. You aren't making these sacrifices so the tile can shine every day. You're home, mainly, to be a mother to your kids and to raise them yourself. So... get off the computer and go play a game with your son who's been begging all morning. Go read a book to Selah Jade even though you've already read it so many times she has the whole thing memorized and can "read" it with you. Go hold that baby that's growing by the minute. She wont be little for very long. Go.

Very sincerely,
40-something-year-old Me

Sickness?

Welcome to Motherhood - where we measure coffee in pots, not cups.

I have a sick child, a well child, and one that can't decide. My poor sick baby has been sleepwalking. The poor girl is traumatized when she wakes up from running into a door jamb or - as was the case last night - her brother's bed. It sounded like she had been running at it at full speed when it stopped her dead in her tracks at 12:30 am. I can only imagine waking up to someone's bed smacking you in the face out of nowhere. How confusing would that be?!

Anyway, she's in there lying on the couch watching her new Dora DVD that she got as a valentine (Thanks, Granny!) with pillow pet in tow.

Isla is the one I'm wondering about. Maybe she's sick. Maybe she's growing. She went to bed about 7:30pm last night and is still asleep at 11am today having woken up only once to eat. I can't keep the kid awake and I don't like it. I'm having day-mares of her schedule being all thrown off and her keeping me up all night for the next month. We'll see. She got shots on Wednesday so we're showing a bit of leniency. 

This would be just another day in the life of having 3 children ages 3 and under IF I were not sick and feeling like my head was about to roll off and land somewhere under the dining room table. (You'd have to know the layout of my house to appreciate that last sentence, I guess.)

Chris has been very gracious and playing Mr. Mom this weekend. He even made muffins this morning for the kids. Sure, they're a little brown, but they're good and I didn't have to cook! LOVE YOU, HONEY! He's coming right off a cold himself. He was miserable all last week and now he's having to take care of me with no break in between. He drank like 5 pots of coffee yesterday (no lie) and caught up on the laundry that's been pushed to the wayside lately. Yep. I've decided we have entirely too many clothes and could clothe an orphanage. Garage sale anyone? I think so.

Treble Tones

Today I came across a shirt from high school. It was my Treble Tones shirt from my junior year. I really had a hard time deciding if the feelings I had attached to it were positive or negative. Either way, they were strong feelings.

I set it aside and when ALL the other laundry was done, I had to deal with it. I wanted to keep it because it reminded me of possibly the ONLY good times I had while in school. On the other hand, it also reminded me of the worst times too. The times so bad that I actually transferred schools. Sooo do I get rid of it or keep it? What is my first reaction when I see it? Do I smile or wince?

It's just a shirt! A shirt from 6 years ago! What is my problem?!

I finally convinced myself that it was okay to let go of. I usually don't have this problem. I've already thrown away all my old yearbooks! It's not like me to cling to something like this. Weeeeeeeird.

I asked Selah Jade to go throw it in the trash for me. (Couldn't do it myself?!) and this is what happened.

 

It didn't quite make it. She wore it for the rest of the evening and right now she's in there tucked snugly into her toddler bed with my shirt wrapped around her. I finally got it. I was proud to be in Treble Tones back in high school. I didn't want to let go of that "accomplishment." I have so much more now. Look at that beautiful girl wrapped in that silly shirt. I've been blessed beyond measure and this picture really brought it all in to perspective.

Thank you, Lord for my family- my beautiful children. They are my greatest accomplishment.

Happy LOVE Day!

Valentine's Day 2010! Woohoo! Hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day and gets to spend time with the people they love. :)

Anyone know a good...

Anyone have a good (legit) way to work from home? I need to make some $$$ while staying here with the kiddos. Seriously. Ideas. I need them.

On another note, it's getting closer to Noah's birthday! I can't believe he's going to be 4 and starting school this fall.

I suddenly feel very old.

To Whom It May Concern:

When did it become so awful to have children? I've heard just about everything from questions about my sanity to accusations that it's ALL my fault the planet is over populated. Breaking news! Chris and I are old enough to have these children and we're perfectly capable of providing for them without any state help.

I know you think you're an awesome judge of how old I am, but I assure you, I'm not 14. I'm old enough to have a masters degree. I don't want to hear about how much I'll appreciate looking younger later in life after you just scolded me about how "I should have finished high school" before I "had a gaggle of kids." Believe it or not, we PLANNED these children. I know. You're shocked. Hold on to something, I'm about to REALLY rock your world... WE AREN'T DONE! That's right. We want one more.

I'm not going to let you make snide comments about my well behaved children in the stores. I'm not going to smile and avoid the conversation when you assume I just don't know how babies are made. My oldest is very sensitive and I'll be darned if I'm going to let your ignorance hurt his feelings while I stand by quietly to avoid confrontation.

Yes. I have my hands full, but they're happy hands. Yes. I get tired, but it's all worth it.

Death and Taxes

I called the church where I worked for a portion of last year to check on my W2 since I hadn't received it. I start in with my "I worked and I haven't received it" speech and the lady on the phone stops me and says "The lady who prepares those has brain cancer and is dying. We're trying to get them out asap but we have a lot to take over and take care of." ........................oh my gosh.

So now I'm sorry I ever even called. They're probably getting a ton of calls... or maybe not. Maybe the people who have worked there within the past several months knew about all this. I don't know. I just feel awful for her, her family and her coworkers.

Taxes will wait.