On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Christmas is over. This year we had a great season. Four different Christmases with family and food. What gets better than that?! We ALMOST finished everything we planned for advent. Whoops. We talked to the kids about why we celebrate Christmas and why we don't. I asked Noah not to ruin the Santa thing for the kids in his class, but he's a 5-year-old with a dirty little secret so we'll see how it goes. 

I'd like to leave the tree up until January 6th. It's the 12th day of Christmas and just seems like the right thing to do. If someone shows up with 9 drummers drumming today, I'll kick them. Somehow, with being sick and the stress of Noah's surgery coming up, I just don't want to take it down. But I don't want it up either. I'm ready to reclaim my house and get it in order. Since I'll only be taking one class this next semester, I should have plenty of time, right?! 

Honey, where's the baby?

Me - "I hate to wake you... and not to be weird, but... I can't find Isla."

Chris- "What?"

Me - "I've looked all over the house twice. Even under beds. She's SUPPOSED to be napping. I can't find her."

After looking like crazy people, we finally found her behind a door. She's so small that the door completely opened even with her behind it. She was very proud of herself for having pulled one over on us and I'm sure she was confused when my laugh of oh-my-goodness-I'm-so-glad-I-found-you turned into a pat on the butt for scaring me to death. And also for being out of her bed playing around when she's supposed to be napping.

After an hour of the up and down, we let her get up. I wasn't going to have her waking up her sister. After everyone was up and had joined me on the couch, it took about 10 minutes before she slumped over and fell asleep on top of her sister - who didn't find it as funny as I did since they weigh pretty much the same. Still.

Now she's sleeping and I'm sure that since it's way past time to get up we'll be doing the same dance again tonight at bed time. Oh the joys of toddlerhood. It's a good thing she's so cute.

A fresh new year

My last post was in July of 2011. I'll try to forget about that for the time being and concentrate on blogging more - if only for my own sanity and failing memory.

I spent my NYE and New Years Day at home in a state of perpetual misery. I have diagnosed myself with a sinus infection. Not being able to breathe is way up there on things I would rather live without. I missed church this morning. A huge bummer since I was supposed to help in Selah Jade's class. I miss those kids. Instead, I got to drag myself down to the after hours clinic and see a nurse practitioner with maybe a week worth of experience. I made the mistake of telling her that was my career goal right off the bat and she spent the rest of our time together trying to further my education. It would have been better received if I could hear anything, but alas, sinus infection.

Got home, took my antibiotic and tried to stay conscious to watch my team play what could have been their last game of the season. They lost, but they're going to the playoffs anyway because some other team's hopes were dashed. I don't know... like I was saying, brains a little fuzzy.

Tried to sleep and I just couldn't. I took a hot shower, but that didn't really help so I'm up writing in the living room so my poor husband doesn't get disturbed by my blowing my nose every 45 seconds.

We're expecting a new baby in July and I'm riding the fence about an important issue. Theology and head colds don't usually mesh well so forgive me if this comes out a bit warbled. Is warbled a word?

Is it right to tell God not to bless you any more? Isn't it a slap in his face to get one's tubes tied and say, "I'm deciding I know what's best for me. I don't want your input." We can reason it to death. I don't have the patience. I don't have the finances. I'm tired of the baby stage. I want the best quality life for the kids I already have. Is it not true that God finances his own projects? Is it so hard to trust that God would provide for children he gives when the reason you have them is because you were trusting him in the first place?

I'm having a hard time articulating here. I don't want to do the "mommy" thing for 40 years. I'd like to enjoy my husband and our retirement together. I'd like to drive something other than a bus. I'd like to finish up school and reach my career goals. I'd like to take family vacations without an infant. I'd like to have a date night where we didn't pay more for sitters for all the kids than we got to spend on ourselves for our date, but is this all just selfishness? Moses didn't want to go through all that BS with pharoah. Paul didn't want to be a nomad preacher. I'm willing to give my life to God for him to use as he sees fit. I guess I just need some wise council to figure out what God's opinion really is. Maybe if we left it in his hands, we wouldn't have any more anyway. My greatest fear... dread... is to have my youngest be a teenager and find out I'm pregnant.

That. Would. Be. Awful.

I'd like to be done after this one. That would give us 4. That's a big family by today's standards. When you consider my oldest right now is 5 and I'll have 4 kids before I'm 25, I'd say that's plenty. But I just have this seed in my spirit. I have to find out if tying the equipment up is wrong. Honestly, I'm afraid of the answer I'll get.

Vay-Kay-Sean!

Our vacation is coming up. 15 days. We haven't taken a vacation since September of 2007. This will be our FIRST family vacation with KIDS. Chris picked out Colorado.

dun dun dunnnnn

A 12 hour road trip out to the middle of nowhere (but there are mountains, Rylee.) with 3 small children and a dog. There are BEARS in Colorado!

Chris - "We can go hiking!"

Me - "There are bears in the woods!"

Chris - "That's why you tie bells to your gear."

Me - "Oh good. So like ::RING RING:: Dinner walking! Come and geeeeeet it!"

I would have picked somewhere with a beach. Yes. I'm serious. A person with a phobia of fish can still enjoy the beach. Which I'm pretty sure by definition is the LAND that touches the water. You don't have to get IN the water and a shark has never chewed someone's leg off on land. Just saying.

Palm trees, warm sand, margaritas... yes ma'am! I am so picking the next place we go.

This is why night owls don't hatch early birds.

How do people just switch off and sleep? I don't understand how you can will yourself to unconsciousness. It must be relatively easy. We expect our babies to master this skill and here I am practically elderly in my twenties and can't figure it out. For my eyes to close, one of two things has to happen. 1- the sun has to rise or 2- I have to iterally collapse from exhaustion. That either makes me a vampire (there was that terribly unfortunate incident with the glitter. Glitter is like the herpes of craft supplies. It's. Forever.) or I'm battery operated. Either way.

Maybe this is okay. My kids are becoming terribly inventive. There were only so many ways to wake the practically dead. Now my youngest shouts out, "Hi! Hugs!" from her crib and what zombie mother ISN'T going to come running lest she miss out on one of the only freely given hugs of the day. Priorities, you know. I wonder how this will translate on her climb up the corporate ladder. "Hugs? Hug anyone?" Don't mind if I do.

I'm out of the "baby" stage. It's becoming abundantly clear since, you know, BABIES don't speak in sentences. It's really my own laziness to blame for our youngest still sleeping in a crib. I mean who wants to take the whole thing apart and put a toddler bed together?! All my kids sleep through the night (95% of the time anyway) and they even entertain themselves for a reasonable amount of time when they wake up at the stinkin crack o' dawn. I should be sleeping! That's my trophy for changing diapers for 5 and a half straight years! For getting up and feeding a baby every 2 hours for the entirety of my early twenties. But am I snoozing? No. Am I rested (like every other mother of 3 kids 5 and under clearly is... ::chuckle::) No. And it doesn't look to be solving itself any time soon.

A small update

Yesterday was my 4th anniversary. I've been married for 4 years. Is that sounding crazy to anyone else?!

We bought this house back in July of 2009. Since then we've put in completely new central heat and air with all new duct work. We've replaced the hot water heater. We put on a new roof. We've majorly remodeled a bathroom. We've replaced all our windows. We've had insulation blown up in our attic. We've ripped out landscaping and cut down trees. We've replaced broken pipes. We've fixed the fence and the gate. ::deep breath:: We've replaced our front and back doors and we're in the process of replacing our garage doors.

Wow.

How awesome is that?! This house is on it's way to being brand new. :) We are so blessed.

Disgusting things

I've JUST put the kids down to nap and I'm supposed to be furiously busy working on my crazy long list of things to do, but I had to take this time to jot down what this day has had to offer so far.

This morning, I woke up... and kept dreaming. This doesn't happen very often. When it does, it's very confusing. When you finally come out of it, it takes a while to realize what your actual reality is. Turns out I'm NOT an Olympian runner. Who knew? I wondered why running for miles and miles was so easy.

Then after the usual morning shuffle of showers, "good morning"s and "Okay, I love you, bye-bye"s - I was tasked with getting the kids some breakfast. Got them seated at the table and went to the cabinet for some bowls at which time I discovered MAGGOTS everywhere. Y'all, maggots aren't a regular occurrence around here. As a matter of fact, the last time I had seen one was YEARS ago at our second apartment back before we ever even moved to the city. OH. MY. GRIEF. I still get nauseous thinking about it. The trash didn't get to the curb on trash day last week and here we are.

So after completely dousing my entire kitchen with bleach (and splashing myself in the face with some burning hot bleach water with maggots floating in it) I got the kids some cereal. And vowed never to eat again. Is it trash day yet?!

Noah and I are reading The Wind in the Willows. I'm excited that my 4-year-old son is interested in classic literature and also that he asks me several times a day if I will "take a break" and read to him. :) After a chapter of our book, Isla had decided it was time to get down from the high chair. I pick her up, put her on my hip and *squish.* Seriously?! Her first blowout diaper since she was 2 weeks old. (I wish her teeth would hurry up and come in! AGH!) I get her undressed and wiped down enough to get into the bath. She's standing on the side of the tub watching me adjust the water temperature aaaand she pees. All over the floor and me, since I'm standing right next to her. This is actually a record. I don't think I'd been pooped on AND peed on in succession like that... by this particular kid.

Get her in the bath and all cleaned up. While she's in the bath, Noah starts yelling for me. He's in the other bathroom and needs my help. The poor kid has chronic bathroom issues. After I got Isla out of the tub, I sat on the other bathroom floor and talked him down from the proverbial ledge and gave him some medicine. As I'm cleaning THIS up, Chris comes home for lunch... early... and provides me with a list of things he needs me to do. He's right. It's Friday. I don't want to need to get this stuff done.

I tell the kids to get in bed and Selah Jade tells me her bed is wet. It looks like a piece of cereal or something. I pick it up and it squishes in my hand. See, vomit just doesn't hold together when you try to pick it up.

And to think I pushed having my wisdom teeth extracted to next Friday. That sounds wonderful right about now.