You don't scare anyone

Remember when you were a kid and there was that one kid (or group of kids) who made it their life's mission to try to make you miserable? Maybe you saw this happen to someone you knew. Maybe it was you doing the bullying.

That kid was awesome, right? It was just so admirable how they took that other kid and pushed them off the playground equipment. It was hilarious when little Johnny cried.

Oh, it wasn't?

That's right, it wasn't. News flash! It still isn't. Now that you're an adult you can talk down to other people and that makes you feel big and strong, doesn't it? That's sweet, Honey, but it makes you look like a fool. Please do yourself a favor and shove a rag in your mouth (tape up your fingers?) if you can't control the verbal diarrhea. 

Know what's different about now? Little Johnny is all grown up. He isn't afraid of you. John thinks you're pathetic and should probably get some counseling. Times change.

Please, please, please find a hobby. Take up a new sport. Read a good book. Find something (anything) else to do with your life. I've tried to say it kindly for YEARS and it's falling on deaf ears. I'm trying one last time. The only thing worse than looking stupid is opening your mouth and proving it.

Potty Hostage

Most of my posts tend to revolve around my youngest lately. I've thought about why that is and all I can think of is she is the one keeping me on my toes. Like today when I had to clean up smeared poo all over the bathroom because she didn't want to wait for me to be ready to potty train her. She's ready NOW. When I wasn't a willing participant, she took it upon herself to get'r'done.

Bad Mama. I know. I'm onthe ball now. We'll spend tomorrow in panties. ::shudder:: I really hate potty training. It's the worst part about having a two-year-old. The fits? No problem. The screaming? No sweat. Stepping on a wet spot on the carpet that you didn't know about? THE WORST. Sometimes I walk into a room and feel like I can smell urine. Then I crawl around like a crazy person sniffing the carpet thinking someone peed and it DRIED on there. Oh the horror.

So if anyone has any encouragement, words of wisdom, xanax... (kidding about that last one... pregnant and what not.) I'm all ears. I'm just not ready to be a potty hostage. I guess I just need an attitude adjustment. She's 2.5 for heaven sake. Well, here we go!

I... am so sorry.

You know that verbal diarrhea that rude people get whenever they see a pregnant woman? You know those tactless people who say things like "Let me tell you about how horrible my labor/delivery was..."

::sigh::

I have been one of those people. My crime: fawning over baby boys. See, I have a boy. I think he's the greatest thing since... well I can't even think of anything to compare him to. He holds a special place in my heart that only a son could. So what's the problem?

I also have three daughters.

Each time I discovered I was pregnant, I hoped it was another boy. I wanted to duplicate the love and relationship I had with my first born. When #2 was a girl, I was okay with it. Hubs really wanted a girl so I thought "Well, I have one and now you have one." Healthy, I know... It doesn't really help that our personalities conflict so we haven't even been THAT close. She is definitely a Daddy's Girl if ever there was one.

But then #3, just a few months later, was a girl. My whole pregnancy with her I felt defensive. You can only hear "Was it planned?!?" "How old is your youngest?!" "You know what causes that, don't you?!" so many times before you develop a bitterness to everyone who so much as glances at your stomach. Up until the day she was born I was, in a way, apologizing to everyone for being pregnant. Then she was born and I looked into her sweet face...

She was perfect. She was beautiful. She wasn't a consolation prize. She was my DAUGHTER and I was absolutely head over heels in LOVE. I bonded with her immediately in a way I hadn't experienced with my first two. I spent the whole first night just staring into her sweet face. I was so convicted. How could I have been resentful that this little girl was mine? How DARE I feel that way?!

#3 is 2.5 years old now. She's laying here beside me while #1 is at school and #2 watches TV. She'd rather be next to me, whatever I'm doing. She's an amazing little girl. Sometimes when I think about how much I love her, I feel like my heart will explode.

When they said, "Looks female" about #4, my heart skipped a beat.  It isn't gender that determines your connection to a child. It isn't gender that dictates their worth. I love ALL of my children equally. We are beyond excited about our new little girl.

So, young mother of that baby girl, I am SO sorry for spewing my preference for baby boys in front of you. I'm guilty of gushing on and on about little boys and how they're my FAVORITE right in front of mothers of little girls. And you know what? That just isn't true. I wouldn't trade a single one of my girls in for a boy. My son is amazing. So are my daughters.

The next time someone comes up to you and starts up the mouth with no filter, remember they're not TRYING to make you feel bad. They're just an idiot... like me.

A toddler scorned

I have a two-year-old with a personality that barely fits into her tiny 26 pound body. 

She loves to go to church. She loves her class and she loves her friends. Since she's there 3 times each week for different things, she's very used to these people and classrooms. BUT. When we go on Tuesday mornings.  ::deep breath:: 

"I don't want to go to my class!"

"Why not? Don't you want to play with your friends?"

"No. I want to stay with mama."

"You can do a puzzle with Brooklynn. See? Brooklyn needs a friend to play with."

"No. She's fine. I'll stay with you."

When I came back to pick her up 2 hours later, they said... "Uhh, we had some problems. For an hour. She just stood there at the glass by the door and was angry." This meant she had stood there for an hour plotting my demise. She's not the type to throw an all out walleye fit (usually...) but she lets you know she. is. mad. She gives me the stink eye. She won't hold my hand. Shoot, she wouldn't even walk with me to the car. She trailed 5 feet behind me like she didn't want to be seen together.

By the time we got home she was fine. She is once again "Mommy's Woogie" but just wait until the next time I tick her off. Oh the teen years should be a blast. And she'll just be one of four teenagers in the house. Looks like I may have bigger issues than the grocery bill at that point.

Perspective

I'm feeling like Eeyore today so I'm going to write a post of 12 GOOD things I can think about and be thankful for. What better way to pull myself out of a funk?

1. My whole family is HEALTHY! This is huge y'all. At least one of the kids is usually sniffling or something, but right now we have a whole house of healthy people. Can I get an amen?!?

2. Spring is here! While today that means storms and sideways rain, it also means t-shirts and kids getting to play outside! Woohoo! It also means baby birds tweeting and ducks to feed at the park. :) We're saving our bread heels.

3. BOTH the kid rooms are clean. Yes, you read that correctly.

4. We are BLESSED beyond measure as evidenced by all the clothes I need to fold. Most of them I didn't even have to pay for. They're either handed down or gifted to us. Super awesome.

5. Chris was able to fix the blinds in the girls room that I thought were broken. I had SUCH a bad attitude when I saw them. I thought they were hopeless but Dad comes to the rescue every time.

6. I HAVE A HOUSE! While I may grumble about it from time to time, all I need to do is flash back to apartment (or even duplex) living and voila! I'm cured! Having my own house is such a blessing. I can paint if I want to and you know what? I want to.

7. We aren't a TV centered household. My kids are smart and funny and creative. They make things and play pretend instead of asking to watch TV. You should see some of the games they invent. They're actually pretty good.

8. My husband has a good job. He isn't on the chopping block worried about if he'll have it next month. He has awesome hours, awesome benefits, and awesome coworkers. Him being happy at works makes me happy. I remember what it was like to hate a job and still have to go in every day because you needed the money. So thankful that isn't a daily reality for him.

9. I'm in school! I can't wait to go to class every week and learn more about the field I love.

10. I live in a fantastic area. There is super low crime. The schools are good. There are 57 protestant churches in the city limits. There are tons of good people and good causes centered here. We love it.

11. I'm having a baby! EEEEEEEK! I don't think anyone really realizes how much this baby was wanted and prayed for. While we may get the occasional, "ANOTHER ONE?!?!" We know we are richly blessed and can't WAIT to welcome this little one into our home.

12. I have the most solid marriage out of anyone I know. Due mainly to my amazing husband who really is my rock. He's way more than I could have asked for and definitely more than I deserve.

Sickies

Isla has been really sick lately. She has run a fever and near about coughed up her ever-lovin' lungs.

I've figured out that if I wake up and keep her medicated, she sleeps a lot better. Poor thing is miserable if I let her fever flare back up. I've been known to make a midnight run to Walgreens when I don't gauge how much ibuprofen we have very well.

Still, as long as we have books to read and another round of ABCs to sing we're doing alright. God bless the library.

Duct tape baseball

At the suggestion of my GENIUS mother-in-law, I took a piece of string and tied a duct tape ball to one end. I looped the other end around a nail in a doorway, gave my toddler a kitchen utensil and told her to go to town! My 2-year-old and 3-year-old absolutely love this. It keeps them occupied for quite a while. This comes in super handy when I'm trying to cook dinner or help their older brother with homework. :) 

The best part is when they're done, you just wrap the string around it and throw it in a drawer to pull out another time! It's like they've never seen it before every time and it's just as much fun.