That kid was awesome, right? It was just so admirable how they took that other kid and pushed them off the playground equipment. It was hilarious when little Johnny cried.
Oh, it wasn't?
That's right, it wasn't. News flash! It still isn't. Now that you're an adult you can talk down to other people and that makes you feel big and strong, doesn't it? That's sweet, Honey, but it makes you look like a fool. Please do yourself a favor and shove a rag in your mouth (tape up your fingers?) if you can't control the verbal diarrhea.
Know what's different about now? Little Johnny is all grown up. He isn't afraid of you. John thinks you're pathetic and should probably get some counseling. Times change.
Please, please, please find a hobby. Take up a new sport. Read a good book. Find something (anything) else to do with your life. I've tried to say it kindly for YEARS and it's falling on deaf ears. I'm trying one last time. The only thing worse than looking stupid is opening your mouth and proving it.
